3 safe steps before commitment
Ready to Fall in Love? Follow These Three Safe and Healthy Steps to Take Before Making a Commitment
Are you a single woman looking for love with another woman? Have you been trying lesbian dating sites, only to feel disappointed when you meet someone and it doesn’t work out? Do you have a tendency to fall in love quickly — and to fall hard — without really weighing what and to whom you are giving your heart? If you have answered “yes” to any of these dating questions, then you certainly are not along among women who are on lesbian dating sites looking for love. Finding love and keeping it is no easy task — and some things are truly out of control. For the other things, you can do your part. Sometimes that means holding back a little and not jumping in with your full heart. Read on to learn our top three safe and healthy tips to take before making a commitment to someone you meet on lesbian dating sites. It takes a little practice when you are a romantic at heart, but over time you will learn that taking things slowly could work in your favor. If you meet someone you are head over heels in love with, by all means, feel that emotion — but then take a step back and read our guide to move in a more protective manner that ultimately will help you test that love and those feelings — and perhaps feel less of a sting if the relationship doesn’t work out. Let’s get started because you deserve love!
Step #1: Really Get to Know the Person
We’ve all been there. You meet someone wonderful, and there are big stars in your eyes. HUGE stars. You’re smitten, and there’s no going back. It’s Okay to sit with this feeling for awhile because that could be the beginning of love. But, as you enjoy the beginning of a relationship, make extra effort to check those feelings against the facts that you know. How much do you know about the person you are dating? Have you spent enough time together to know the person’s dislikes, likes, peculiarities and past history? All of these categories are worth a date-night discussion, in which you can really probe each other and find out if you are as compatible as the feelings you are experiencing say you are! Take time to ask questions and to try to evaluate them with a realistic mindset. That means knowing what your deal breakers are, knowing yourself well enough to know what you truly can and cannot live with are. Be honest with yourself and with each other. Find out if you appreciate and naturally can be with one another as human beings first.
Step #2: Have a Conversation
Before you fall head over heels and you’ve decided to commit to the person you’ve met online, remember that you really need an honest conversation about where you are going. That boundary is going to be different for every person because different people are Okay with different kinds of commitments. But to have a truly healthy and happy relationship in which you can fully trust someone, most people need exclusivity. Again, this doesn’t work for everyone, but being exclusive with someone else who has that ideal will build trust and allow the work of commitment and love to begin. If you haven’t had a real conversation about being exclusive — then you must assume you are dating casually and that there are other women in the mix.
That’s a hard reality for some people to bear, but in order to protect yourself and to have a relationship that is vulnerable and authentic — you must accept this as a reality and continue to remind yourself of it. Give the relationship time to work itself out. It takes time because all of our lives can be complicated — by work, by family, by children, by competing priorities and passions. But over time, you will be able to determine whether it is the right time to have a conversation about exclusivity. Give it some time, and enjoy the process of getting to know the person you like and enjoy. Just keep in mind that online dating means that every person you or your crush dates is a possible, good path. You aren’t the only one right now.
Step #3: Delay Sex, If Possible
Sex is wonderful. It is amazing. You should have amazing sex all your life. But keep in mind that with sex comes emotions that you may not be ready to handle. Each person experiences sex in a different way — and only you know what is best for you. But if you are a person who feels attached to someone after being physical, then you should try to delay the act of sex until there is a commitment. For people who are instantly attached after sex, it can be very difficult to come back to the reality that the person you are with is still with other people. You have to decide if you can operate in a healthy way with this reality in mind. It works for some people, but the vast majority of healthy relationships are those with a commitment and exclusivity behind them. So let the passion flow — but keep the boundary of sex until you are committed to one another. You will feel more free and vulnerable to be you and to invest in the relationship you really care about if you know that your partner and you are on the same page.
Ready to Fall in Love?
Everyone deserves to feel the depth and heights of true love, and we believe that is possible for you on lesbian dating sites. The key is setting your expectations and really knowing what you are getting yourself into. Dating sites — no matter to whom they are catered — are full of people who are looking for different things. Some people just want to hook up. Others are looking for a serious commitment. And still others are looking for something in between.
If you are dating someone from lesbian dating sites and you haven’t had a conversation about being exclusive, then you have to assume that the person likely is dating other people. Your experience with that person may not be as special as you think. It could be — but you have to entertain the reality that there are other people in the picture. Before you commit to someone you’ve met on lesbian dating sites, be willing to be as realistic about the situation without giving up your ability to trust and to be vulnerable. In a world in which relationships hurt so many of us, it is rare thing to still treat every person you date as if they are trustworthy and a fresh start. Just be careful as you move forward. Don’t jump in completely until you’ve had a conversation about where the two of you are going.
You deserve the best and so much of what love has to offer — so go out there and find it!