5 Tips For Gay Dating
Summer is a great time to go out and meet new people, try new things and start fresh with a few new folks in your life. Summer is prime-time dating season. The days are long, the nights are warm, the sun is shining and love is in the air. Everyone’s a bit more laid back, it’s a great season to relax, and chances are that most single souls won’t be camping out on their couches and hibernating when such beautiful weather is constantly luring them out of the house.
If it’s been awhile since you’ve slipped into your “dating” shoes, don’t sweat it; we’re about to give you 5 tips to help you ease into the driver’s seat. If you’re new to gay dating, try thinking of it as straight dating. It’s really no different. If you’re just coming out of a long, difficult, or painful relationship and are going through a breakup, we’ll give some gentle tips to help get you back on your feet. And, if it’s just a little summer fun you’re looking to have, we’ll give you some advice for that, too. Here we go, guys! It’s time for some practical gay dating tips!
Ok, so you’ve met someone online, perhaps at online dating site such as totally dating, or a friend wants to set you up, or you’re totally hot for his guy you saw at the bar last night and you’re itching to ask him on a date. How do you begin?
Initiate Dating With Other Gays
Give yourself permission to go first! Let the first date be about you. No, not in a selfish, it’s-all-about-me kind of way. Think of it as a show and tell. Give your date an opportunity to learn more about you and choose to do something, an activity or experience that you could share, that you feel confident about. You love sailing? Take him on a sailing excursion. You’ve been riding horses for 15 years? Saddle up! Know a burger joint that will blow his mind? Go!
Not only will choosing an activity or a place that you’re comfortable with and passionate about keep you calm and cool, but it will most likely impress your date as well. Who doesn’t love watching someone do something they’re passionate about? It’s attractive. If all goes well, put the ball in your date’s court and ask him to show you around next time.
Meet Your Date in a “neutral” place
Taking a prospect on a first date to one of your favorite bars or cafes, or any place that you frequent on a regular basis, might not be the best idea. If things don’t go as planned or they end up being entirely horrific, you’ve shared one of your “safe” places with someone you’re probably wishing you didn’t have to run into all of the time. Save your special places for the ones you’re willing to share them with. Until you’re ready to begin some serious, it’s important to guard and keep a handful of your sacred spaces to yourself and a few close friends.
Details, people! Details!
Here’s a quick story to illustrate what I mean. Last summer my roommate invited her lady interest over for dinner at our house. She was cooking a delicious vegetarian meal, sweet potato black bean burgers with quinoa, for this girl she’d been talking to for a few weeks and this was the first time they’d be getting together. When her interest arrived, my roommate was so frazzled that her hospitable instincts, like asking if she could get her interest anything to drink, went right out the window. But that’s not all. Halfway through the meal, her interest went a bit pale as she discovered something “chewy” in her food, and it wasn’t breaking down. We watched in horror as she pulled a chewed up Band-Aid out of her mouth and ran to the bathroom in disgust. My roommate had been chopping sweet potatoes when the Band-Aid slipped off of her finger and into the mash. Paying attention to those little details and looking things over before your date arrives, can really pay off. If you’re nervous, make a mental (or literal) check-list of things you don’t want to forget. And, above all else, don’t cook with a Band-Aid on!
After the first few dates or perhaps even the first few hours, you’ll be able to gauge how things are going. If you’re into this guy, keep it going with the following helpful tips. If not, don’t be afraid to move on and begin again. The gay dating scene is growing, together with mature dating and lesbian dating scenes as well. You have options! Don’t feel the need to justify your dates. You should enjoy every minute of it. This isn’t work, remember? It’s supposed to be fun!
Exercise your online dating ethics
Be clear, crystal clear. As things get a bit more serious, make it clear to your partner what you’re looking for. But first, make it clear to yourself. Depending on what you’ve just been through, you may be seeking a variety of things, like physical intimacy, companionship or perhaps you’re looking to settle down with that special someone. If you’re game for being honest, your partner is most likely to follow suit. Things are always less messy and far less complicated when you verbalize most of what you’re thinking. And, unless you’re dating a fortune teller, your date can’t read your mind! Help him out a bit. Plus, this means that you’re most likely dating with good intentions and out of a desire to care for yourself and for someone else. If nothing else, you’ll be sending positive vibes to a world full of attractive men and gleaning a good dose of karma by trying.
Not sexually, per se, unless that’s what you’ve communicated that you want, in which case, have at it! What I’m talking about is more so of an emotional vulnerability. Are you willing to try new things and step outside of your comfort zone? Are you willing to make a fool of yourself and laugh trying? Sometimes, this is the only way we can free ourselves from the pain of the past and move forward into the beauty of new beginnings. It’s also a great way to let your date into a personal part of your life by asking them to help you through this difficult or uncomfortable experience. This is a great way to begin entering the gay dating scene and practicing allowing yourself to fail. The more comfortable you become with being uncomfortable, the more confident you will be!
Hopefully these tips will encourage and inspire you to give dating another try this summer. Most importantly, if you remember nothing else from this article, remember to keep it real and don’t overthink things. Does he make you smile? Do you laugh often together? Sometimes that’s all the reassurance that you need to get started and keep something great going. If he makes you happy, he can’t be that bad.